- Take the time, when you can grab it, to breathe
- I'm in the middle of a multi-tasking nightmare. I take work calls before I take my daughter to school. I check email before my drive to work. I make follow-up calls on the drive rather than wait until arriving at the office to reply. I leave one meeting to go to another and then return to the first. I...can't...get...a...second. But wait, I can. I can STOP the building avalanche of anxiety and activity. I can take 2 minutes, I can take 5 minutes, and I can close my eyes and breathe. Initially, this time seems selfish, causing more anxiety. But if I stop, and take this time, it doesn't derail the train, but it does keep it from gaining steam.
- Figure out what you can do, and do it
- There are some things, that I can do easily and quickly. I do them. There are other things that I can create a plan and begin to follow through on the actions that I need to take to accomplish the plan. I may not be able to finish every step because of time and other obligation constraints but if I am moving forward, I am doing something. Something positive!
- Don't beat yourself up over what you can't possibly do
- For me, this is new. In fact, all of this is new. My previous pre-semester habits were to build myself into a frenzy, along with the activities around me. To acknowledge everything I was doing, I'd talk about it, or think about it...over and over. In turn, this would create anxiety and build stress as I beat myself up more and more over all the things that I "should be doing" and couldn't. ...so this year, I'm letting it go. I'm doing what I can, taking some time, and reassuring myself that I'm doing my best. I'm loving myself through it.
- Find options
- So, what about all those things that I can't get to? What do I do? One thing, I'm learning to delegate, and delegate without guilt. Giving the task to someone else and giving up the feeling that I need to control how they do it. I'm getting more off my plate, and it feels good. Its funny, the plate still fills quickly, but I'm dealing with it better. I'm also recognizing that I can't make everyone satisfied at the level they might like, but that isn't about me. And finally, for the things that I know that won't fit into this week, I'm putting them off until I can give them my attention. Through these things, I'm creating emotional time to breathe.
- Enjoy the time, because it is finite and will change
- I know that this time is traditionally my busiest time of the year. There is a lot about this time of year that I absolutely love. There is excitement about a new year, a new beginning. And I know that this time, this excitement, this business, will not last. It will move into other times, it always does. And so I'm enjoying what I can and know that it is finite and just as a hurricane does, it will move on. I just have to make sure that I've prepared and don't let the storm leave destruction as it passes...instead, I am trying to enjoy the beauty of the storm, while it is here.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
In the Eye of the Hurricane, I Can Learn Something
This week, in my life, is crazy! In my "job that pays the bills" it is a very busy time. It is the week before fall classes begin and everyone and everything is a flurry of activity. At times, all of this activity comes together, swirls and swarms, like we are in the midst of a violent storm. It is very easy to get overwhelmed when this happens! But this year, unlike those previous, I have been able to take learn something...
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
How I've Lived My Life
It's not about can't is how I've lived my life. What CAN I do to move my life forward to a better place? What CAN I do to feel more alive? So although I lived with verbal and physical abuse and although my decisions were primarily made putting others in front of myself, I was still reacting to the question, "What CAN I do?"
Even though there were a lot of should dos, have to dos, or can't dos...there were also a lot of things that I could do.
I love new beginnings! New hope, new promises, new direction, new opportunities! It is the excitement and promise of what might be, that has kept me hopefull through what was. Unfortunately, it also kept me from facing and moving past it.
I have a place that is calling me, I just haven't found it yet. I have a space where I'm meant to be free, meant to be happy. That place might be here but if it is, I haven't found it yet.
I believe that if I feel that place, find that place, it will show my children that you can always grow. It will show them that you don't have to settle where you are, if it doesn't give you room to bloom.
Even though there were a lot of should dos, have to dos, or can't dos...there were also a lot of things that I could do.
I love new beginnings! New hope, new promises, new direction, new opportunities! It is the excitement and promise of what might be, that has kept me hopefull through what was. Unfortunately, it also kept me from facing and moving past it.
I have a place that is calling me, I just haven't found it yet. I have a space where I'm meant to be free, meant to be happy. That place might be here but if it is, I haven't found it yet.
I believe that if I feel that place, find that place, it will show my children that you can always grow. It will show them that you don't have to settle where you are, if it doesn't give you room to bloom.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Give Yourself Permission to be Imperfect
Today, I'm going to know that whatever I do, is the best that I can do, and I'm releasing myself from my expectations of perfection, or the expectations of others.
Today, I'm going to love myself without any drama.
In My Stories, I just wrote about my problems with my pets. And in the writing, I had an underlying theme or feeling that, I should be doing better. In doing this, I am telling myself that I'm not doing things right, I'm not good enough.
Well this morning, I AM good enough. There may be things that I could be better at, there may be things that I could do differently, but sitting here, with four of my pets all sleeping within five feet of me, I can smile, and release myself from any negative emotion I had when I went through my morning ritual. They want to be near me, they feel loved.
So this morning, I don't have to be perfect. My good intentions are enough.
Today, I'm going to love myself without any drama.
In My Stories, I just wrote about my problems with my pets. And in the writing, I had an underlying theme or feeling that, I should be doing better. In doing this, I am telling myself that I'm not doing things right, I'm not good enough.
Well this morning, I AM good enough. There may be things that I could be better at, there may be things that I could do differently, but sitting here, with four of my pets all sleeping within five feet of me, I can smile, and release myself from any negative emotion I had when I went through my morning ritual. They want to be near me, they feel loved.
So this morning, I don't have to be perfect. My good intentions are enough.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
It Slips Away so Easily, but (today) It's OK
Wow! I think its been a week since I've written anything substantial...My voices and inner critic say, "Bad me." But it is with love that I now embrace this statement. So instead of feeling chastised, I smile.
The words in Days Away in My Poems pretty well sum up the way that it happens, that intention slips away. It slides down a slope and lays hidden behind a bush, never really very far gone, but out of sight and out of reach, none-the-less.
I never like to admit that I have another job, or I really should say A Job, work that pays the bills, but I do. It's a pretty "good job"...I'll tell you about it someday, but that's not what this is about. You see, last week the job got pretty intense. The job had me feeling like I was in front of a firing squad, with everything coming toward me at lightening speed, and yet as the demands flew by, they all grazed the surface and took little pieces of me away, triumphantly, as they connected. Their little explosions frayed my nerves, fractured my soul, left me adrift.
For the second, or third, time in a week, friends or colleagues looked at me, concerned. "What's going on?" "You look really tired!!!" (you know that you look bad when they emphasize really!!) and one even went to my boss, supporting my need for a nice, long break.
Ha! Work wasn't going away. My responsibilities at home weren't going away. My cries for help, well, let's just say that they weren't exactly taken seriously. So, what did I do?
First, I set aside this work. Work that makes me smile, that I could do easily, endlessly...really, work is NOT the right word. But trying to do it all, to fit it in, left me torn.
Second, I took a good look at the reasons why I was so upset, so distraught. There are those who don't have this, but I have a need to understand why, before I can let it go, before I can move on.
Third, as soon as I could, I took some time for myself. For me, it was the weekend. And I guess that it wasn't really for myself (kids, pets...that's another story). But I didn't let this work, or my other work, pull at me. I set it aside. I mentally escaped. I also scheduled some extra time off in the very near future.
Fourth, I tackled the things that were the most important on my list. As Brian Tracy says, I ate the biggest, ugliest frog first. From my other job, the stressful one, I attacked the most urgent must do's, and got them out of the way.
And suddenly I realized that a week has passed and trying to see the work that I wanted to do in that time is like trying to grasp a handful of water. It's not intangible. But, in spite of that, its OK. I had to address the things that I did, in my time away from here. May be I had to go through the exhaustion and frustration that I felt. May be its part of living each day, with a goal for where I want to be and knowing that no matter what happens, its not about the things that I can't do....but what I can!!
Have a happy day!
BJ
The words in Days Away in My Poems pretty well sum up the way that it happens, that intention slips away. It slides down a slope and lays hidden behind a bush, never really very far gone, but out of sight and out of reach, none-the-less.
I never like to admit that I have another job, or I really should say A Job, work that pays the bills, but I do. It's a pretty "good job"...I'll tell you about it someday, but that's not what this is about. You see, last week the job got pretty intense. The job had me feeling like I was in front of a firing squad, with everything coming toward me at lightening speed, and yet as the demands flew by, they all grazed the surface and took little pieces of me away, triumphantly, as they connected. Their little explosions frayed my nerves, fractured my soul, left me adrift.
For the second, or third, time in a week, friends or colleagues looked at me, concerned. "What's going on?" "You look really tired!!!" (you know that you look bad when they emphasize really!!) and one even went to my boss, supporting my need for a nice, long break.
Ha! Work wasn't going away. My responsibilities at home weren't going away. My cries for help, well, let's just say that they weren't exactly taken seriously. So, what did I do?
First, I set aside this work. Work that makes me smile, that I could do easily, endlessly...really, work is NOT the right word. But trying to do it all, to fit it in, left me torn.
Second, I took a good look at the reasons why I was so upset, so distraught. There are those who don't have this, but I have a need to understand why, before I can let it go, before I can move on.
Third, as soon as I could, I took some time for myself. For me, it was the weekend. And I guess that it wasn't really for myself (kids, pets...that's another story). But I didn't let this work, or my other work, pull at me. I set it aside. I mentally escaped. I also scheduled some extra time off in the very near future.
Fourth, I tackled the things that were the most important on my list. As Brian Tracy says, I ate the biggest, ugliest frog first. From my other job, the stressful one, I attacked the most urgent must do's, and got them out of the way.
And suddenly I realized that a week has passed and trying to see the work that I wanted to do in that time is like trying to grasp a handful of water. It's not intangible. But, in spite of that, its OK. I had to address the things that I did, in my time away from here. May be I had to go through the exhaustion and frustration that I felt. May be its part of living each day, with a goal for where I want to be and knowing that no matter what happens, its not about the things that I can't do....but what I can!!
Have a happy day!
BJ
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